She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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