sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This is my gift to your gina
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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