never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
