Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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