We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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