So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Even my vagina gasped.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
