it hurts more in the daytime
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
