Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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