Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize