It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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