I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Drunk is not a location!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
