Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
