I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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