i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We had sex on a dog bed..
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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