My nipple is on Facebook.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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