Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
