She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
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No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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