in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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