if you like me you must not know who I am
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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