you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
