great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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