I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
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All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
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We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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