So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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