Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize