I bet he comes in French.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
