That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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