im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
