i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
