Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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