She is in my trunk
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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