me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
