there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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