hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
