Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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