I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Text me some of your sweat
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