I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
