what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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