you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
