don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
