there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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