Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize