fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
