the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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