I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
