I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize