Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
