whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize