I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
