if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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