hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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