no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize