Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
