so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
