Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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