the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
