yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
