She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i died would you start the facebook group?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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