Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
