Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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