do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
