the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Quick, to the slutcave!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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