Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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