My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
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How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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